Age is just a number yo!

* Warning! this post is extra sassy*

*Listening to “My favorite game,” by the Cardigans

I was in my chemistry class today and most of the people who sit in my area are in their mid-twenties.  All of a sudden they became really obsessed with my instructor’s age.  He looks like he’s in his mid-forties.  They started throwing out numbers, doing calculations based on his education and eventually they realized he was 43.  I did not figure out why they needed to know so badly.  Perhaps it is because he is really accomplished for his age; he’s an avid cyclist and a PhD in chemistry and if he didn’t have sun damage he would probably look like he was in his twenties.  But I think they were wondering because they are constantly comparing their personal timelines and goals with each other.   I wish more than anything that they would trust me when I say that age is just a number and we can accomplish anything at any age – yeah, that means I believe that a 90-year-old can jump out of a plane.  Why not?  These particular students are pre-med, which means that they have a natural compulsive personality fraught with goals, parent’s expectations, and their personal measures of success.

I have finally realized at my wise old age of 37, that success is measured by how satisfied you are with your life.  I work with a lot of parents and they are constantly lamenting about how their young 20 something’s don’t have direction and they aren’t doing anything with their lives – one such parent decided that her son’s walking the PCT and going to Brazil on a whim were not worthy life experiences and he has no direction.  Maybe it is because she feels that having a good job and a family are a measure of success? Or maybe she is jealous that she didn’t do that “psst. So and so, you can still do it.” I personally, would be proud of my child if they were on personal journeys of self-exploration and traveling to other cultures.  The last thing I would want for them is to be settled-down, with a partner and a job at 23.  One woman in my chemistry class last term was talking about her goal to be a physician’s assistant rather than a Dr. because she is married, 27, and ready to start a family.  I know that does not seem un-reasonable but she said it like she was almost fifty. Wait – what?  Why?  Why can’t she have kids when she’s done? 

I know my measure of success is not the same as everyone else’s but I am so glad that I have mostly avoided the typical societal definition of “success.”  When people tell me their kids are working odd jobs, traveling, and basically trying to figure out their place in life, I always ask “Are they happy and self-sufficient?” and when they say “yes,” I say, “Then you should be proud.”  Why can’t that be enough? In this over-populated world full-of competition and shattered dreams what is wrong with surviving and living the way you want to live?  NOTHING!!!!  Yes, I am a pre-dental student and I am also 37, when people ask me when I will be done my first response is “I have no idea,” and my second response is “I’m not in a hurry, I’ve waited this long.”

Things people say that make me bristle:

-       Aren’t you a little old to be in college?
-       When will you have kids?
-       Does your husband want kids?
-       How does your husband feel about you going to college?” (BTW the answer is “I don’t give a f***!”)
-       You could have kids while you’re in dental school (why? so I can be more stressed-out? Because my self-worth is reliant on procreation?)
-       How will you pay for dental school? (Gee, I have no idea, I guess I’ll have to tap into my inheritance)
-       You’re going to be in your mid-forties when you graduate (and your point is…….? I’m going to be in my mid-forties regardless)
-       I could never go to school at your age
-       Dental school is really hard!  (It is?  I had no idea)
-       Are women dentists?
-       Why don’t you go to medical school? (Oh yes because the whole body is so much better than the mouth - I actually find this question flattering and insulting.  Some people say it realizing that dental school and medical school are comparable in difficulty, some people say it because they think dentists are stupid people that can’t get into med school)
-       Why don’t you go to Nursing school? (crickets…)
-       When will you be done?  (I don’t know I don’t have a crystal ball)
-       Why don’t you be a Geologist? (just joking- but it’s similar to other suggestions that have nothing to do with dentistry)
-       My all-time favorite that happened the other day; a patient asked to see my hands and afterward he exclaimed that I should pick another profession (I have ginormous man hands)
-       And any comment or un-solicited advice from people that assume my career goals are up for discussion. I do realize for the most part, people are looking out for me and have good intentions but they need to evaluate their own lives, because after-all they are just projecting.

Listening to “Walking with a ghost,” by Tegan and Sara

Quotes to live by:

-       As Walter Bagehot said;“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”
 
-       Elbert Hubbard once said, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”
 
-       “Your dreams and your actions define you.  Don’t let others define you with what they tell you to do and not to.”
-       There are no rules in life so why limit yourself to what everybody else is doing?
 
-       “You will inspire other to follow their own dreams, even if they know nothing about you.”  This quote is so true!  I have had so many people tell me that my experience has made them want to go back to school.
 
-       I stole these quotes from this dude’s blog http://www.globotreks.com/features/19-reasons-ignore-everybody-follow-your-dreams/

Listening to "What beats within," by Jenny Owen Youngs 

* I like to listen to music when I write, so I thought I would share some of the tunes with you.